


Prince Tales

by TheBehemoth



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, M/M, Romance, Saiyans as Humans, Satire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 18:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6819646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBehemoth/pseuds/TheBehemoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A foreign prince falls in love with Kakarot, a construction worker with a mysterious past. AU where Saiyans are humans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prince Tales

**Author's Note:**

> Oh lordy, I started another multi-chapter fic. Originally this story was supposed to be a one shot, but it grew to become much more. As of now I only envision this having three or four parts, but we’ll see what direction I go in over time. Shout out to BringingYaoiBack for beta reading this and thinking of the title! This was written for Kakavege Week. The rating will, of course, go up in due time. Enjoy. I haven’t written anything this crazy in a while.

Prince Vegeta's happiness throughout the day had an inverse correlation to however long he had to speak with people who had a lower net worth than himself.

For example, earlier that morning he'd received a mani-pedi set along with a full-body massage. During the whole process the nail technicians and masseuse hadn't spoken a single word to him, fully aware he'd withdraw his patronage the second they filled his ears with any incessant babble. The silence that enveloped him as he had his cuticles groomed filled him with indescribable joy. The sexy, but mute boy that massaged the tension out of his thighs and buttocks soothed his nerves. Because they'd kept quiet, Prince Vegeta's morning ended on a pleasant note and the workers who silently doted on him received very generous tips.

Every summer for the past ten years, Vegeta visited his father's flat in West City to make his royal presence known and be _appreciated_ by every luxury shop he could step his size 6 designer boots in. Over time he'd gained the reputation of being the darling son of King Vegeta, a prestigious man who was the biggest investor of Capsule Corp technologies. Vegeta enjoyed his father's riches by jaunting around the city buying everything in sight, hoping to cure the boredom that afflicted him.

After his morning routine, Vegeta allowed Nappa, the family servant, to lead him down a crowded sidewalk in downtown West City. Despite weather conditions or whether or not he was inside of a building, the gargantuan man always donned a black suit and sunglasses. His frightening visage was enough to clear a path on the sidewalk for Vegeta so they both could walk freely. While sashaying in Nappa's wake, commoners passed by either side of the Prince, offending both his sense of smell and sense of fashion. Unfortunately contacts hadn't been invented yet that scrubbed Vegeta's vision of any undesirables around him. _Perhaps it's something I can ask Father to look into_ , he thought idly. His right hand twitched from being parted from his credit card for too long.

When Nappa led them to the front of a comic book shop sitting at the corner of a busy intersection, Vegeta froze. This place was not a high-end fashion boutique. Nor was it a restaurant that could cater to Vegeta's very specific dietary restrictions. "Why are you taking me to this hovel, Nappa?"

Nappa turned around and stared down at the Prince. "Remember, sir? The Star Trek toy you've been searching for since last August?"

Vegeta's eyes narrowed. "Yes. The Geordi La Forge figurine."

"I did some research. This store should have it in stock."

For the first time in months, Vegeta's heart raced in excitement. "Excellent."

As soon as they stepped foot through the door and that familiar convenience store doorbell sullied the air, Vegeta knew he'd made the wrong decision. The air reeked of old paperbacks and unwashed armpits. A long line of people stood in front of the cashier. The Prince clenched his eyes shut, hoping that whenever he open them again that the nightmare would be gone. "Goddammit. Where have you taken me?"

"I wasn't aware it would be _this_ kind of place, your majesty."

Vegeta opened his eyes. The exposed ass crack of a nearby nerd stared back at him. He grimaced and looked away. "Tell everyone to leave at once!"

Nappa strode to the front of the line, Vegeta on his heels. Multiple people shouted obscenities as they passed by, which only filled Vegeta with confusion. _What are they so upset about?_

As soon as Nappa reached the cashier, he shoved the man at the front of the line to the side. Comic books flew through the air, followed by a loud thud on the carpet. Vegeta rolled his eyes; out of the corner of his vision he could see the fallen man collecting his scattered stack of books into his grasp once more.

Nappa's booming voice filled the store. "Prince Vegeta would like to evacuate everyone from the premises so he can shop here in peace."

The cashier stared blankly back at the man towering over him. "Excuse me, sir?"

Nappa clarified himself. "I need everyone here to leave immediately so Prince Vegeta can—"

"I heard you. But you seriously expect me to close the store for one dude?"

Vegeta balled his fists up and growled. _How dare this simpleton speak to my servant in this way! Does he not know who I am?_

Nappa kept his cool. "How much payment do you require in order to fulfill our wishes?" he asked.

The cashier's sullen face quickly softened. "Let me bring out the manager."

As Vegeta waited for Nappa to sort things out with the insufferable employees at the store, the noise behind him grew from a few people insulting him to a full crowd of hecklers. One man even tugged on the sleeve of his jacket to get his attention, nearly sending Vegeta into a full cardiac arrest. _What if someone tries to kill me in here? I knew this was a bad idea. I'm going to have Father flog Nappa for this—_

"Um, excuse me?"

Vegeta stared at the hand still holding onto his jacket. Attached to it was a muscular arm, and Vegeta's breath hitched in his throat. He looked up and saw cheerful face staring back at him.

The man was a head taller than him and wore construction gear. Horrible, unfashionable, dirty, mustard yellow construction gear. But beneath his outfit, Vegeta could tell he was fit. So fit that Vegeta would have gladly licked the sweat off of his chest if he asked. The man's hardhat hid most of his hair, but what poked out from beneath the rim was spiky and black. It looked so soft, Vegeta nearly reached his hand out to thread his fingers through it. Instead, the Prince licked his lips and stared in awe at the man who'd taken his breath away.

The man smiled at him. "Excuse me, but you're standing on one of my comics."

Vegeta looked down. Crushed beneath the heel of his boot was an issue of _Duck Tales_. If the man in front of him weren't so attractive, Vegeta would have kept his foot planted to the ground and prevented such childish trash to remain in circulation. Instead, he picked up the comic and handed it back to the stranger.

The construction worker pouted and Vegeta felt his heart melt at how adorable he looked. "Thanks. But is your friend going to move any time soon? I have to pay for these."

Vegeta refused to allow his servant to cock block him. "NAPPA!" he screeched.

Nappa glanced over his shoulder. "Yes, Prince Vegeta?"

"I'm going to buy this man's merchandise as well!"

Nappa paused for a second, his sights now set on the newcomer that had gained Vegeta's favor. "Yes, sir." He returned to his conversation with both the store manager and cashier.

The construction worker laughed and grabbed the back of his head. "That's not necessary. If you two hadn't cut in line I would have bought it myself." His accent was unrefined, but Vegeta found it a delight to listen to.

Suddenly aware he had to respond, Vegeta panicked. _Was it wrong of me to go directly to the nearest employee to get what I wanted?_ Not wanting to embarrass him further, Vegeta chose his next words carefully. "Ah. What do you recommend I do if I want to purchase something?"

The man blinked at him. "All you have to do is find it in the store, then get in line—"

"'In line'?" Vegeta stared at the long line of customers mean mugging him. "Why would I wait for something I want right now?"

Again, the construction worker laughed. "I dunno, that's just how it works."

"How it works," Vegeta repeated. _Oh my God, I want to drink this man's bathwater._

"Yeah. Um, my break is almost over…so…thanks?" The man waved at Vegeta and walked out of the store.

Mesmerized, Vegeta stared at the jean-clad legs receding away from him and out of his life. Before he could think to ask for a name, the man was across the street, lost in a sea of concrete and steel beams.

"Prince Vegeta," Nappa said, breaking Vegeta out of his trance, "the manager has agreed to close the shop for the next hour if we agree to pay twice the amount of everyone's hourly wage."

"Shut-up, Nappa. I'm trying to think!"

"Are you certain you want to do that by yourself, my liege?"

The Prince growled at him. Sometimes his servant sounded like he was talking back to Vegeta, but he could never be sure. "Yes, I'm certain! Just ask for the figurine so we can leave!"

While Nappa finished up business at the register, Vegeta pondered on the best way to seduce the man who, for whatever reason, thought it was wise to sully his beautiful body with physical labor. But how did one go about getting the attention of someone with such…barbaric tastes as _Duck Tales_? More importantly, Vegeta wasn't even sure if the object of his affections liked men. Based on what he'd seen in television commercials and on 90s sitcoms, construction workers regularly catcalled beautiful women walking down the street. For all he knew, that was the only type of person the object of his affections could possibly be interested in.

He crossed his arms. _I can't be a woman, but I can most certainly look beautiful._ Perhaps it wouldn't be too difficult to seduce the stranger after all.

"Get out of the fucking line, jackass!" A man standing a few yards away from Vegeta chucked a plastic box at his head.

Nearly blind with rage, Vegeta picked up the box and aimed it at the man who'd assaulted him. "Fuck _you_ , you worthless piece of—" He paused and studied the box more closely. "Nappa! I have found the Geordi I was looking for. Let's leave this hell hole."

* * *

Vegeta did not approve of exercising outside. It was too much of a risk to have his image tarnished by perspiring in public. During elementary school he was notorious for having pit stains that ruined every shirt he owned. One brilliant child gave him the nickname "Purple Stain" shortly after the film the name parodied was released. The traumatic period of Vegeta's life convinced his parents to withdraw him from the public education system so he could be home schooled instead. To this day, Vegeta could not listen to a Prince song without breaking down in tears.

But he was willing to go running outside if it meant he could get the attention of the lovely construction worker. After purchasing his Geordi toy and returning to his father's apartment, he flung every article of clothing from his body into Nappa's waiting arms. Being naked in front of Nappa didn't faze him one bit—except the man occasionally got a bit too talky about his physique…

Vegeta flung his closet door open and stared at the array of outfits on display. On any other day he would have spent hours deciding on what to wear, but time was of the essence if he intended for his plan of seduction to work. He selected a pair of sweatpants he knew would cup his ass in just the right way, and a tank top that would both flatter his abs and save him the humiliation of armpit sweat.

"Your exercise regimen doesn't begin until later this afternoon, my prince," Nappa pointed out.

"I'm going on a jog."

" _Outside_?"

Vegeta pulled on the sweatpants and shirt, not bothering with underwear. "Yes, outside!"

"Where will you be jogging?"

"Near that comic book store we just came from."

Beside him Nappa laughed, then coughed. "Does this have something to do with that man whose books you paid for?"

"What if it does?" Vegeta stretched in front of the mirror, admiring the way his muscles flexed with every minute movement.

"He is—" Nappa paused, unsure how to criticize Vegeta's new crush without getting himself in too much trouble. "Obviously he isn't affluent."

"I'm well aware." Vegeta bent over and grabbed his ankles, settling into a deep stretch of his calves and thighs. "But that doesn't matter to me."

Nappa choked on his own spit. "It doesn't? Since when?"

"He's different. That's all that matters!"

"You don't know anything about him. What if," Nappa said, his voice lowering, "his credit score is below 800?"

"Don't be foolish, Nappa. Not even feral animals have scores that low of a number."

Truly concerned for Vegeta's wellbeing, Nappa continued to air out his fears. "What if this man eats _leftovers_?"

Vegeta stood up. He'd heard myths about poor people eating uneaten portions of meals the next day. "Stop trying to scare me. I'm an adult as well as your superior. I'll do what I want."

"These are important things to think about, Prince Vegeta. The King entrusted you into my care, so it's my duty to make sure you don't do anything that may cause you harm."

"Just be quiet and keep your distance while I work my magic." Vegeta busied himself with pulling on his favorite pair of running shoes. What did Nappa know about love anyway?

* * *

To protect Vegeta's flawless skin from premature exposure to the sun's rays, Nappa hailed a cab for the both of them. They returned to the busy intersection near the construction site and found the perfect place to spy on all of the hardhat workers: behind an out-of-service bulldozer. The machine sat adjacent to a roped-off area where several of the men sat eating sandwiches out of tin lunch boxes.

"Which one is the man you're attracted to? They all look the same from where I'm standing." Nappa asked a bit too loudly.

"Shut-up, or you're going to ruin everything!" Vegeta rubbed the side of his face, hoping to calm himself down. A thin veneer of sweat had already collected on his temple. He had to act fast. "Ah, there he is. The one with the weird hair."

Nappa scrunched up his face. "He may have lice, my prince. He looks very unkempt."

Vegeta exited the shadow of the machine, tired of suffering Nappa's shit talk. He jogged in place for a few seconds and found himself filled with a sudden rush of anxiety. What if the man had a girlfriend? Or was married? Maybe he was straight, which was more likely than any of Vegeta's other concerns. Wanting to leave his worries behind him, Vegeta dashed forward and ran past the group of men with the sexist grin on his face he could muster.

Everyone looked at him. Except the man whose attention mattered the most. Vegeta didn't want to appear too thirsty, but by the time he reached the end of the block he whipped his head around to see if his target had torn his eyes away from the sandwich in his hand. He hadn't moved a muscle.

 _Goddammit. I guess I'll have to go around the whole block one more time. Maybe he didn't notice me._ It only took Vegeta a few minutes to run a lap around the block and return to the same spot beside the construction site. He slowed down his pace considerably, not wanting to miss the look on his crush's face.

A long wolf whistle filled the air. Excited, Vegeta looked over his shoulder and smiled at the men. Several of them stared blankly back at him. His crush was still enraptured with his stupid sandwich.

"Hey cutie, over here!"

A few feet away from the men stood a blue-hair woman wearing a pantsuit. The Prince had seen her before, but only on television—it was Bulma Briefs, CEO of Capsule Corp Technologies, and the last person he expected to harass him on the street. She must have had some part in developing the building being erected on the street corner.

She yelled at him again. "Come over here so I can get a better look at your cute little tushie!"

"Leave me alone!" Vegeta screamed. In his periphery he saw Ms. Briefs break into a light jog toward him, her arms outstretched. He'd heard rumors about her boy toys and how she treated them, many of them disappearing inside of her company building to never see the light of day again. _I'll be damned if I become another statistic!_

Nappa's burly arms appeared seemingly out of nowhere to pull Vegeta away from danger. He tossed the Prince over his shoulder and carted him away from the construction site. Terrified, Vegeta clung to Nappa's broad shoulders and willed away the burning sensation in his eyes.

"Are you alright, Prince Vegeta?"

"I'm perfectly fine," Vegeta mumbled.

"I tried to warn you, sir."

Vegeta shook his head. "I'm trying again tomorrow."

"I strongly recommend you not do that, sir."

"I don't care what you think." Vegeta allowed himself to be carried farther down the street, ideas for his second attempt already pushing away memories of his earlier humiliation.

* * *

The next day, Nappa and Vegeta hid behind the bulldozer again during the construction worker's lunch hour.

"I have a foolproof plan today." Vegeta smiled while stretching in place. His full-body spandex suit clung to him in all of the right places. His crush would have to be blind to ignore his presence again. "He won't be able to resist me this time."

"Why don't you just ask him out if you like him so much?" Nappa asked, completely deadpan.

"Don't be stupid, Nappa. That's not how romance works. Besides, it's only proper that _he_ pursues _me_." Vegeta jogged in place, mustering up all the courage he had left after yesterday's disappointment. He ran outside of the protection of the bulldozer and smiled fearlessly in the direction of the construction men.

"Ay! AY, SHAWTY!"

Unfortunately, the man screaming at Vegeta wasn't his crush. A long-haired man ran up to him with a shit-eating grin on his face. The long scar running down the right side of his cheek only added to the feral gleam in his eye and the wolf-like way he stalked distance separating himself and the Prince.

Not liking the way the man's eyes roamed his body, Vegeta wrapped his arms around his chest. "What do you want?" he asked. He wanted to keep running, but perhaps the encounter would work out in his favor. _Maybe he's coming over to gather information about me so he can relay the details back to his much cuter friend._

The man extended his hand toward Vegeta. "How're ya? I'm Yamcha."

The Prince glared down at the outreached palm as if it'd bite him if he got too close. "Okay?"

"What's your name?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Come on. I don't bite." Yamcha's eyes scanned Vegeta's body, and he was certain the man could see straight through his clothing. "I saw you running around here yesterday. You're interested in one of us, right?"

"You're not as stupid as you look."

"Ouch. You're almost too sassy for me."

Vegeta stared past Yamcha and saw his crush _still_ ignoring him. "Even though you're a pervert, I'll think about going out with you. But first you have to do me a favor."

"What kind of favor?" Yamcha wiggled his eyebrows. "A _sexy_ favor?"

Rolling his eyes, Vegeta casually leaned his head toward his crush. "Tell me the name of your friend over there."

Yamcha looked over his shoulder. "Kakarot?"

The name sent a shiver down Vegeta's spine. "Kakarot is a beautiful name," he sighed. It was a name that came from Vegeta's own culture and he wondered if his crush shared distant ancestry to him.

It was a stroke of luck that Kakarot himself looked up from his lunch to stare at Vegeta, surely interested in why his name was being spoken so often. Vegeta ensnared his gaze and the two stared at each other for a long while, Kakarot slowly tilting his head in confusion. Paranoid he'd frightened Kakarot with his shameless gaping, Vegeta readied himself to tear his eyes away—until Kakarot smiled back at him and shyly lowered his head.

"…Did you hear anything I just said?" Yamcha said. He snapped his fingers in front of Vegeta's face. "Hellooo?"

"Hmm?" Vegeta returned his attention back to Yamcha. "Why are you still talking to me? I'm done with you."

"But what about our date?"

Learning Kakarot's true name put Vegeta into such high spirits that he decided to toy around with Yamcha a bit longer. If he played his cards right, he may even make Kakarot jealous. "Alright. Where are you taking me?"

"You know…to my apartment."

Vegeta rose his nose into the air. "I'm not a slut. You'll have to take me out to dinner first."

The smirk fell from Yamcha's face. "Oh. I mean, I'm not opposed to that sort of thing if you really want to go out. But I was hoping your price would cover all your needs and we could skip right to the fun stuff?"

Vegeta's eyes narrowed. "My 'price'?"

"Yeah." Yamcha's voice lowered. "You're a corner girl, right?"

Vegeta slapped Yamcha so hard he sent the man crumbling to the ground. The pain in his hand radiated all the way down from his palm to his elbow; he clenched his fists tightly closed until the tingling sensation faded to a dull ebb beneath his skin.

One of the workers screeched. "Holy shit, he killed Yamcha!"

"I'm perfectly fine!" Still nothing more than a heap on the ground, Yamcha held up his hand and gave all of his friends a thumbs-up.

Vegeta fled the scene. Nappa yelled something unintelligible behind him, but he wasn't interested in his criticisms. Kakarot had finally noticed him. Tomorrow would be the day Vegeta would make his final move. Finally, he'd get what he had worked so hard for since yesterday.

* * *

Vegeta didn't mind that his booty shorts were one size too small for his ass. He also didn't care that his hot pink crop top was just long enough to cover his nipples. All of his attention was instead focused on making sure he didn't trip while breaking in his new stilettos. Every second spent walking in the six inch high torture devices drove him simultaneously closer to heaven and hell. Kakarot would surely appreciate the love and pain he put into looking flawless for their third meeting.

He'd decided to catch his crush by surprise. Instead of coming during the construction worker's lunch hour, Vegeta took a cab to the work site during the late afternoon. He'd also managed to sneak out of his apartment without Nappa noticing. In a few hours his servant would realize the Prince wasn't really napping, but it was more than enough time for Vegeta to have some fun in the city by himself.

Focusing every iota of his being on staying upright, Vegeta jogged past the construction workers with a chaste smile on his face. There was no need to show off _too_ much—his outfit would do most of the work. Luckily for him, Kakarot was positioned only several yards away from the sidewalk, a jackhammer pistoning in and out of the earth between his large hands.

Vegeta was taken aback by the sight. The powerful machine shook with such fervor that it made Kakarot's flesh shudder over his frame; his muscles rippled beneath his uniform as if ready to burst free from the pathetic restriction and bask in the glory of the afternoon light. Vegeta came to a full stop, too mesmerized by Kakarot's gorgeous body to walk past him. His beauty wasn't a common daily occurrence. As if aware he was being watched, Kakarot looked up from his work and stared Vegeta in the face.

His jaw fell slack. Utterly shocked, his hands went limp and the jackhammer broke free from his grip. The machine skipped and bounced along the concrete, crashing into a metal trash heap nearby. Even as Vegeta stood yards away, he could see the blush blossoming on the young man's cheeks.

 _Got him_. Vegeta pranced away from the scene in delight. Any second now, Kakarot would come running after him.

Distracted by his new victory, Vegeta drifted away from his straight path on the sidewalk and wandered into the street. _I'm glad my shorts have my name on the back of them too. Now he knows exactly who I am! Stupid Nappa didn't think I could pull it off—_

The heel of his shoe scraped against a crack in the asphalt; before he could catch himself he hurdled forward. The biggest sinkhole he'd ever seen in his life loomed toward him as he fell within its depths. All of his weight fell onto his right foot, which twisted beneath him; a jolt of pain traveled up his leg and he cried out in shock. He catapulted forward and landed on his back.

For the first time in his life, Vegeta wished he'd been wearing pants. Long scratches covered both his arms and legs, blood slowly oozing from the fresh cuts in his skin. A dull ache rose from the middle of his back where he felt a sharp rock jut into his spine. Thankfully he hadn't landed on his head, but he did wish he was unconscious so he didn't have to deal with the shame of being sprawled out in the middle of a giant hole. He wasn't sure who he should call first: Nappa or his father's attorneys.

"Are you alright?" He heard Kakarot before he saw him. Just as he opened his mouth to answer, Kakarot slid down the sharp incline of the hole and landed beside Vegeta's limp body.

Dust rose in the air and Vegeta coughed hard until his lungs burned. "I'm fine," he muttered. _All of my earlier efforts have gone to waste. He probably thinks I'm a clumsy idiot._ Embarrassed, Vegeta attempted to sit up in a more dignified position. Pain shot through his body. "Shit! My neck—my back!"

A look of terror crossed Kakarot's handsome features. "Do I need to call an ambulance?"

"No. I just wanted to say that once in my life." Vegeta smiled helplessly up at him. "But my right ankle does hurt."

Kakarot gingerly pressed his fingers against Vegeta's calf, then trailed them down to his ankle. The Prince winced from the pressure.

"Do you think you fell hard enough to break it?"

"No. It's just sprained." Vegeta sighed. He'd have to call Nappa to pick him up. "I'll just get my servant to get me out of here and—"

"Are you joking? I'm not going to leave you down here." Kakarot scooped Vegeta up from the ground. Instinctively, Vegeta wrapped his arms around his neck for support. Having their bodies pressed together took Vegeta's mind away from his pain. _This is better than anything I could have planned._

In a feat of Herculean strength, Kakarot scaled up the side of the hole with Vegeta in his arms as if it were a routine procedure. Never had Vegeta felt so weightless; he imagined Kakarot tossing him around the bedroom like a rag doll and blushed.

Kakarot carried the Prince back onto the sidewalk. He paid no mind to the dozens of men on the construction site staring at the both of them. Up close, Vegeta admired the gentle furrow of Kakarot's brow and his slightly parted mouth: his look of consternation was out of worry for Vegeta, and the knowledge warmed the Prince's heart.

Sadly, he didn't have long to stare at his sexy rescuer. A police officer strode up to the both of them with a scowl on his face. "What's going on here?" he demanded. Over his head he swung a pair of handcuffs in circles as if they were nunchucks.

"Is there a problem, officer?" Kakarot gently set Vegeta back on the ground but kept his arm wrapped around his waist for support.

"Yes. There's a huge problem." The cop swung the handcuffs dangerously close to Kakarot's face. "Prostitution is illegal, buddy. I have to take you and this hooker in."

"Hooker?" Kakarot and Vegeta asked in unison.

"Yes, _hooker_. I've been watching." The cop scanned his leery eyes up and down Vegeta's body. "I saw you walking the block earlier, trying to find yourself a John."

"You idiot!" Vegeta planted his hands on his hips and hobbled on his good foot. "I wasn't looking for a John. I was looking for a Kakarot!"

"You were?" Kakarot looked back and forth between the cop and Vegeta, utterly confused about what was going on.

"Don't you know who I am? I'm _Prince Vegeta_. Surely you've heard of my father. I assure you, he would _not_ be happy to hear about this false arrest." Vegeta poked his finger into the cop's face. "I'll have you know he could have you fired at the drop of a hat."

The cop panicked. He released the handcuffs and they helicoptered through the air clear across the construction site. Seconds later they smashed against the side of Ms. Brief's skull, immediately knocking her out cold and sending her to the ground. All of the construction men caused a loud ruckus as they gathered around the fallen woman, but Vegeta knew better than to stray his eyes away from the cop. The man in blue pulled his gun from his holster and shoved it into Vegeta's face.

"You tried to attack me!" The cop pressed the tip of the gun into Vegeta's forehead. "Put your hands where I can see them!"

Vegeta held up both of his hands. Trembling, he looked up at Kakarot and gave him a pleading look. _Not that he can do anything about this situation. Ugh, if Nappa were here this never would have happened! He would just beat up the cop for me. Wait—is that illegal? If Nappa were here he would know…_

In a sudden bold move, Kakarot moved behind Vegeta and wrapped his arms around his waist defensively. "Stop pointing your gun at my boyfriend!"

"He's your boyfriend?" the cop asked. He narrowed his eyes and pulled the gun a few inches away from Vegeta's face. "How do I know you're not lying?"

"Why would I lie about how much I love my boyfriend…erhm." Kakarot stepped backwards behind Vegeta, sliding his hands up his waist and back until they reached the Prince's shoulders. "Vegeta? Yeah. That's his name."

Heat rose to Vegeta's face. _Did Kakarot just look at my ass?_

The cop slowly lowered his gun. "I didn't know he was your boyfriend."

"Of course he is!" Kakarot grabbed Vegeta's right ass cheek and massaged it between his fingers. "He even wore his tiny shorts I like so much."

 _Ooh my goodness._ Vegeta purred at being fondled so intimately by his crush. When Kakarot stopped his ministrations to smack his ass, Vegeta moaned loudly in the cop's face.

"Well," the cop said while putting his gun back in his holster, "it really does seem like he's your boyfriend."

"Uh-huh," Kakarot mumbled under his breath. He squeezed both of Vegeta's cheeks hard, then gave them another smack much harder than before.

"I'm going to go now." With one eyebrow raised, the cop crept away backwards from the both of them.

As much as Vegeta enjoyed getting groped by Kakarot, the longer he kept his weight on his right leg, the more his ankle throbbed in pain. "This is nice and all, but you should buy me dinner first."

As if Vegeta's ass had turned into fire in his hands, Kakarot leapt backwards and wiped his palms clean against his pants. "Oh man, I'm sorry! I, um, I got carried away with all the acting, and—"

"Don't worry about it." Vegeta turned on his heel to get a good look at his molester. Kakarot was as red as a beet, and looked adorably shy with his hand behind his head. "But I do need to get back home."

"Do you need me to take you there?" Kakarot asked. He licked his lips, and Vegeta wondered if more lay behind his good intentions.

"I can take a cab back," Vegeta said, curious to see if the man was interested enough to take the bait.

"But your ankle is hurt." The confused look on Kakarot's face faded and was replaced with a boyish smile. "Um, unless you want me to get out of your hair."

"Don't you have to go back to work?"

"After what happened I don't think our boss lady will notice." Kakarot tilted his head toward the construction site.

Sure enough, several yards away Ms. Briefs was enraptured in a conversation with Yamcha. The man held an ice pack to her head while she reciprocated his kindness in her own way: her right hand was entrenched in his thick hair and her left cupped around his ass.

"I see," Vegeta said evenly. "If that's the case, then sure. You can come back with me."

"Great!" Kakarot lifted Vegeta in the air and held him in his arms again. "Let's go!"

 _What a strange man._ "We're going to walk?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"I live twenty blocks away." Vegeta curled his arms around Kakarot's neck. He definitely preferred being carted around town in the arms of a hunky man to taking a cab, but even he wasn't so delusional to think it was realistic.

"That's not a problem. Besides, it'll be a good workout if nothing else."

"Suit yourself."

Kakarot hummed as he carried Vegeta down the sidewalk. "Have I met you before today?" he asked.

Vegeta thought hard on what was the best way to answer. "No."


End file.
